Earlier this month, I wrote the following post on Facebook:
Social media is a highlight reel, and though I don’t post much (I’m mostly there for the drama from our local town group), when I do, it’s a glossed-over version of what’s usually a much deeper story. Smiling photos from a successful race? You didn’t see how much I wanted to go home and quit the sport altogether the night before. Sentimental caption about how grateful I am to have recovered from an injury? I’ll conveniently omit details about just how miserable and worthless that injury made me feel, not to mention that I have the bone mineral density of an old lady and will probably wind up hurt again soon (side note – currently writing a piece about how I’m working to reverse this!) And though this post reflects a similar happy-go-lucky theme, it’s true that the past month has been good—very good. I’ve raced a lot, had fun in training (mostly), and balanced a busy-but-not-too-busy work and school schedule outside of running.
While the October 24-hour goal remains in the back of my mind, for the time being I’ve been more focused on races happening before then. This past month or so has included quite a bit of that. Just over a week after 3 Days at the Fair, I ran the Pineland Farms 100k in New Gloucester, Maine. I’ve run the 50k distance at this event twice before, and both times, it destroyed me. The course is wide doubletrack, perfectly runnable, and averages just over 100 feet of climbing per mile (in other words, easy to go out too fast and pay for it). This time, the race went about as flawlessly as it could–well, almost.
I finished the first of 4 loops in just under 2 hours, right before the start of the 50k race. The adrenaline rush as the entire field cheered for me (I was in 1st overall) carried me through the 2nd loop, where I crossed the halfway point in 4:01, a full 24 minutes faster than I had raced the distance last year. I continued to feel strong on the 3rd loop, but struggled heading into the last. Nothing at the sparse aid stations sounded appealing, and I’d already depleted my supply of stroopwafles and bars (not that I would’ve been able to keep them down anyways.) 51 miles in, the top 2 men flew by me and ended my little pity party. I ran the rest of the way (albeit slowly) and finished in 8:51, a course record and 3rd place overall. Since I had expected a finish closer to 10 hours, I was elated.
Recently, I’ve struggled a lot to relish in successes. Once I’ve crossed the finish line or hit stop on my watch, the race or run is behind me. By the next day, even my best races are barely an afterthought. It’s onto the next thing; more planning; more striving to do better. The only time I’ll think back to a big effort is to give myself some grace when my legs inevitably feel tired in a workout a few days later. In some ways, this is a good thing. I don’t have bad races or runs too often, but when I do, I move on quite easily. After the Boston Marathon this year, for example, I went for a 15-mile run in the mountains the next day and promptly forgot about what was probably the worst race of my life. But I know that I also need to work on enjoying the good days more. I’m so in love with the process of training, of building a stronger athlete brick by brick, so it’s not to say that I don’t care about racing. It’s just that I move on so quickly it’s almost worth questioning if the effort was worth it at all. It also leaves me wondering which success or victory will finally be enough.
A week after Pineland, I drove to western Massachusetts to run the Chesterfield Gorge 100k. I don’t know exactly what it was, but I was a bit of a wreck before the race. Traveling to events, even if it’s a short 3-hour drive and one night campout, heightens prerace anxiety for me. It didn’t help that I arrived at the camping area early to find it nearly empty save for a creepy pickup truck with an equally sketchy guy idling in it, watching me. Then, realizing there was no cell service, I got back on the road and aimlessly drove until I was able to text my parents that I’d made it. During that drive, I was this close to just continuing down the highway back home. I was scared, lonely, and homesick. But I turned myself around, made it back to a now much busier camp (minus the sketchy pickup), and eventually fell asleep in the somewhat stifling back of my car.
The race itself was fine. The ‘choose your own adventure’ style had me questioning how much distance I actually wanted to cover on the rolling 25k trail out-and-back. You could get an official finish for 50k, 50 miles, 100k, or 100 miles, and while some part of me wanted to leave it all out there and go for the big 100M, I decided to stick to a more familiar distance, 100k, and focus on finishing strong. The course was absolutely gorgeous, and it was a beautiful (albeit warm) day. There were a lot of people running, and I made it a goal that I had to sprint (“sprint”) whenever I saw another person (after the race, multiple people told me, “you were flying all day!” Clearly I fooled them, because I definitely did some power walking when no one was around). I finished in 9:22, a course record and 1st female (2nd overall).
The drive home from races is so different from the drive there (side note – is it really safe to run 62 miles in the heat, eat a taco, then hop in the car and drive for 4+ hours? I don’t know, but I do it. Last fall, after a 100k trail race that turned out to be over 10k long, I got so nauseous that I spent the drive home with my chin resting on the steering wheel, listening to spa music because whenever I turned on the pop station they played ‘Need a Favor’ by Jelly Roll and I didn’t want to think about jelly rolls or anything related to food).
I had 2 weeks between Chesterfield Gorge and my next event, the Mt. Washington Road Race, so I got in some solid workouts on a few of my favorite routes. This summer, I put together a bingo card of runs I want to do and things I hope to accomplish, which has been fun to check off and brainstorm.
Earlier this year, I was invited to run on the Six03 Endurance team in the Mt. Washington Road Race. This was my 2nd time running the event, but in 2022, they had to move the finish line from the summit to halfway up the mountain due to dangerous winds and ice (it’s called the worst weather on earth for a reason, I guess!) I hadn’t run a “short” race in a while, and was reminded how the vibe at the starting lines are so different from ultras. Everyone looks nervous and tense. I joked to my friend that I prefer races where you start jogging when the gun goes off.
I probably wouldn’t have done Mt. Washington I hadn’t been running on the team. Really, any race under an ultra distance just isn’t for me. But nonetheless, I felt strong heading up the hill. It helped that I thought I was in 8th place (turned out I was actually 11th) and cheering myself on mentally. At the halfway point, a volunteer told me I looked strong, and I responded by pointing to a trio of women just ahead of me and announcing, “and I bet I feel stronger than them too!” Why did I say that? Racing will make me do odd things I guess. Anyways, once we got above treeline it got extremely cold and windy (from 60 at the bottom to low 30s, clouded in, and windy at the top). I was passed once, ultimately finishing 12th. Yep, I don’t do the short stuff. I consoled myself that the field was particularly stacked this year.
They say you run your half marathon time at Mt. Washington (it’s 7.6 miles). I ran within 3 seconds of my PR – 1:22:13 to my 1:22:10 half best. And our team won! My friend and I opted to run down the mountain instead of getting a ride. It was a blast, and actually didn’t really wreck my quads!
The following Saturday, I drove an hour north to Poland, Maine, to run the inaugural Six at the Springs race, a 6 hour event on a 4-mile out and back trail. Since only full laps counted, I thought 48 miles (12 laps) would be doable. Until the RD told me the course was slightly long. And it started pouring and parts of the trail became a muddy, sloping slog. I completed 11 laps, winning the race overall, and logging 46 miles (44 officially). I never felt great, but never bad either. It was one of those days where you just kind of shut off your brain and tough it out.
I felt particularly sore after 6 at the Springs, which rarely happens. My legs get tired after long efforts, but rarely sore. The next few days of training were a double whammy of tired and sore. Lucky me! I wondered what was wrong as I slogged through a midweek 22 miler. On Friday, the day before my next race, I had my answer. That morning, the temperature dropped 20 degrees and I felt like a new person. It has been hot lately, and I clearly don’t do well with heat.
Most recently, last weekend, I ran the Catamount 50k in Stowe, Vermont. I first ran Catamount in 2022, when I competed in the 25k and finished 2nd in 1:56. The course is absolutely stunning, 5,000 feet of undulating climbs on gorgeous double track trails, all within the property or the Trapp Family Lodge (you know, The Sound of Music?) With a strong start list and course record, I thought winning and getting close to the CR would take a good day. Luckily, it turned out to be a very good day. I established a lead within a mile and didn’t see another woman for the rest of the race, although it turned out my lead was under 4 minutes for almost the entire time. My time, 4:07, was 13 minutes under the previous course record, and the next two women also ran faster than the CR. I finished feeling ecstatic, ate a maple creemee, and drove home with a huge smile on my face.
Looking ahead, I’ll be running the Notchview Ultra 12-hour on July 13th (a 1.9 mile loop on the trails) and the Vermont 100 miler on July 20th. Training is feeling strong (well, when it isn’t too hot) and I’m excited for the challenges ahead. Below are a few highlights/lessons from the month.
Things I’m Loving
- Embracing the role of the shoe nerd. If you’d asked me at any other time in my running career, I couldn’t tell you anything about shoes. I’ve worn ASICS Gel Cumulus for as long as I can remember, and never tried anything else. Recently, I started working part-time at a local running store and had my eyes opened to the very big world of running shoes! I’ve had the opportunity to try a bunch of different brands and models, and really love the On Cloudgo, Saucony Triumph, and, especially, the Hoka Tecton X 2 for trail racing.
- Learning the business of the sport. Another perk of working at a running store is seeing how the sports and outdoor industry operates behind the scenes. Sure, I’m in nursing school, but this is a career path that also interests me a ton. One resource I’ve been loving in this arena is the Second Nature podcast with Dylan Bowman and Aaron Lutze. I’m also very inspired by professional athletes who coach on the side, and have definitely considered what taking on a coaching role could look like for me.
- Running happy. Over the years, I’ve taken meticulous notes about every race I’ve run to look for trends and factors that contributed to my best (and worst) performances. Turns out, it didn’t really matter how I felt on my shakeout the day before or what I ate for breakfast or if I wore a certain shirt. At the risk of sounding super corny, the #1 performance enhancer was how stoked I was leading up to and during the race. Same goes for workouts. I can remember two instances in particular where I cried on the way to the race because I was so happy and excited to run—and those were my two best races. While yes, I’ve had good performances while stressed or bad races when my mind was in a great place, in general the secret is the stoke.
Things I’m Learning
- Strength training doesn’t have to be a chore. I’ve always hated strength training, and honestly don’t do much of it. Lately though, I’ve been trying to have a more positive mentality about it, reminding myself that this will make me a more durable runner and keep me from getting injured. My favorite way to combat low strength training motivation is to turn on a follow-along YouTube video, turn off my brain, and go through the motions. I almost never do more than 30 minutes a day, but try to be consistent. A few of my go-to channels:
- Fleet Feet
- Julia Reppel
- Vlad Ixel
- The Run Experience
- It’s ok not to double. Last summer I decided that, in order to take my training to the “next level,” I should start running twice a day. My second run was always on the treadmill at a 15% grade, and these afternoon “treadhill” workouts quickly became common. But I really didn’t enjoy them. This summer, after working on my feet most days, the last thing I feel like doing in the evening is going to the gym and running again. So I haven’t. And guess what? I haven’t gotten slower! I’ve lengthened my morning runs and have kept up the same weekly mileage numbers, but scratching PM doubles has saved a lot of stress. Plus, I’m the kind of person who feels fresher doing, say, a 22 miler all at once rather than a 15 and a 7. Moral of the story though: Training has to be enjoyable. And I still love treadhills, but now incorporate them into my morning run.
- It’s not ok to eat like a normal person. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder in 6th grade, and spent my high school years convincing myself I was fully recovered because I ate pretty much like a “normal person” (for example, I took average-sized portions, finished what was on my plate, and ate like the people around me). Unfortunately, normal people don’t run 70-100 miles a week. Today, averaging around 130 miles a week, I need to constantly remind myself that it’s ok to eat (much!) more than those around me. Sometimes I still feel silly getting seconds, raiding the fridge at all hours, and serving myself giant portions, but having experienced how it feels to run when chronically underfueled, I can assure myself that the alternative is much worse.
So that’s June (and the 2nd half of May) in a nutshell! I absolutely love this time of year and am trying to soak it all in. Running, working, and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life after graduation next year (stressful!) has kept me more than occupied, but I’m trying to also make time to enjoy the season. October’s goal remains in the back of my mind, especially after watching (from afar) some of the amazing performances at Six Days in the Dome earlier this month. Something about running all those loops for hours and even days on end fascinates me, and I can’t wait to get back to the Sussex fairgrounds and do just that.
